One of the greatest joys of working out is staring at fit women in yoga pants. Wives, you’ll never get us to admit it face to face, but if you catch your husband anxiously wanting to work out that beer belly that he has been growing for years, rest assured there is a new yoga class taking place at your local gym.And yoga pants wearing women know they are doing their good deed, inspiring us men to hit the gym every day. But of course, all good things must come to an end.
There is a new company named lululemon that is charing women $100 for yoga pants that are not only sheer-resistant (stopping us men from getting a good look at the flesh creating the glorious curves that beg to be released from these pants), but also come with a reinforced crotched area to prevent a cameling-toe effect. You can see all of this in action in the following video.
It is appropriate that the logo of the company looks a bit like a devil, because only a demented person would take the most joyous part of working out away from society. Why create a popular product that is only going to increase the amout of men unmotivated to go to the gym? The feminists behind these pants are being too conservative and religiously biased.
Our bodies are meant to be social. Women who have spent hours doing pilates, yoga stretches and weights should proudly show off their curves. They should feel a flush when they catch me doing squats, looking in the mirror and trying to sneak a glimpse of their wonderful backsides as they pull their legs behind their heads, doing some sort of stretch that you’d only expect to find in guide book to ultimate pleasure.
But now, with these new yuppy lululemon pants, women will want to buy a pair or two to be like their friends, and suddenly, it’s no better than a mommy wearing Walmart sweats or worse Jamie Lee Curtis wearing an 80s leotard with a speedo designed by Richard Simmons.
If there is any decency to be had in this world, lululemon will immediately start to make sheer, form revealing pants that are comfortable for a woman, yet ultimately eye pleasing for a man. Yoga pants are made for more than the wearer. Chew on that bit of Eastern philosophy for a bit, fashion prudes who think pants like this are a good thing. Until we as Americans can start thinking of others, our country will continue to go about its miserable slide to a third world economy.