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Ask Haywood: Is It Okay to Stare At Another Woman’s Bazingas If I Am Married?

Ask Haywood: Is It Okay to Stare At Another Woman’s Bazingas If I Am Married?

Dear Pastor Bynum,

My wife forced me to sleep on the couch for several days. What has happened was, we were picking my son up from his university for Spring Break. Some co-eds were out jogging in their sport tops and they were busty, I had a look. My wife saw it and now she is blowing it out of proportion. Am I wrong here or is she overreacting?

-Soreback Husband in New York


Dear Soreback Husband,

With the winter months now tucked safely behind us, we can expect that women will excitedly show up in the Sun to flaunt about and try to cause us men to sin with our eyes and heart.

Soreback husband and indeed my fellow moral men of America, the guide I’m including here is simple. When a women walks by and she is well endowed, it is actually not sinful to sneak and quick glimpse and think ‘what a wonderful creation’. Just make sure your wife and girlfriend do not catch you, because society has trained them to think that natural order and science is not relevant. Your wife is overreacting because she is conditioned as such by liberal feminine media. They will nag you for doing what just happens to be innocent instinct for a man.

[adsense]From this wonderful graph, we can see the typical jogging hoodie of a single woman.  It is slightly exposed and milksack friendly.  It is okay to have several peaks here and linger your eyes if you are by yourselves.  It is natural.

Number two, we can see the pounders are somewhat covered, but slightly exposed.  This is a woman not happy in her marriage.  Perhaps she is half of a young married couple at your church youth group or college.  Just go ahead and acknowledge her mammalian pleasures with a quick glimpse followed by a knowing smile.  This lets here know that should her marriage fail, you will be there to support her.

Now number three, the woman is making a choice to cover it.  It is very sinful to peak at this woman, because she is happily married.  You are being a homewrecker by even thinking of her body in sinful ways.