Crazed Scientist Creates Self-Growing Eternal Marijuana ‘Bonggarden’

Haywood Bynum III
Values Commentator, Cultural Defender • TopekasNews
This elderly man was denied "medicinal" marijuana by his state, so he took it upon himself to grow his own marijuana plants in his bassement with LED lights and the occasional water. He made a terrarium of marijuana plants throughout his basement cellar and wasn't arrested for it. It goes to show that even the elderly are disobediant stoners! what a shame!

Man poses next to the prototype for self-sustained marijuana biome (SSMB), a new technology that will allow people with small, lofty New York apartments or in cold climates to more readily grow and smoke the world’s most dangerous drug.

 

The US government has funded scientists at UC Berkley to grow a ‘self-sustained’ marijuana biome.   This week they release the results of ’Miss Spider Mully’, the name they gave to the plant.  Each leaf is said to smoke like normal pot, but pack the punch of LSD.

  • [checklist]
    • Innocent hobby botanist David Latimer planted the prototype ‘bonggarden’ in 1960 and last watered it in 1972 before tightly sealing it shut ‘as an experiment’.
    • The US federal government, under the Carter administration, granted millions of dollars for a group of UC Berkeley
    • The hardy spiderworts marijuana plant inside can live on recycled air, nutrients and water

    The plant is now being called ‘eternal marijuana’

    [/checklist]

As I perused the internet in my duties of cultural protector, I was devastated to learn that the ‘marijuana elite’ have created a new technology that will make the coming War on Drugs that much more tough on us conservative champions.

Since the times of The Gipper and his beautiful wife, Nancy Reagan, we have recognized marijuana as the most dangerous drug, loosely followed by crack-cocaine.  Both drugs are absolutely dangerous:  they cloud the mind, lead to prostitution and usually result in various disease or life choices that bring early death.  The statistics indicate that those who smoke marijuana die 10 – 15 years earlier than those who are clean.  Those who inject marijuana have even more dismal numbers, with over 60% morbidity rate after only three or four injections.

Despite these numbers, marijuana aficiandos are celebrating a new ‘bonged’ technology that will enable them to grow their dangerous herb plants in dangerous amounts.  The one saving grace of this demonic herb is that it is usually tough to obtain:  it only grows well in warm climates, so it must usually be imported from South America, through Mexico and then the United States.

Because it is so rare, however, it comes at a high price.  Young men will join street gangs or steal in order to pay their ‘dealer’ to get their hands on the stuff.  Young women, well, they will go through great lengths to get their high.  It breaks the heart of you parents out there, but sometimes the truth hurts and will inspire you to action.

Young college students often experiment with weed, leaving them vulnerable, addicted and willing to do anything for more.  While your son will likely steal or do the work of street gangs to fill his addiction, your daughter will turn to prostitution and get pregnant/diseased just for a few more hits or injections of liquid marijuana.  Beware the signs and know that marijuana kills:  fill free to attend our seminar at The Pony Ranch (on Laurel Canyon RD) this coming Sunday, 10 am, if you think your child may be addicted to marijuana.  It will save their life.

I should say, it was rare.
A technology called Self-Sustaining Marijuana Biome is making the rounds.  Created first by an innocent hobby botanist, the technology is being twisted by marijuana addicts to grow ‘eternal’ globes of marijuana, so that they will never run out.  What was once an experiment on the power of closed ecosystems is now going to be used to create an entirely new drug black market.
These ‘bottle bonggardens’ are growing in popularity in New York, Canada, Australia and Norway, but with media popularity they will soon find their way to your home town and eventually, into the arms and lungs of your loved ones.
Lush: Just like any other plant, Mr Latimers's bottled specimen has survived and thrived using the cycle of photosynthesis despite being cut off from the outside world
Spiderwarts Marijuana plant has sustained itself for over 53 years.  The owner of the ‘globe of atomic wonder’ simply has to open the lid, snip off a few branches and then quickly close the environment.  The plant will regrow what is missing overnight, the owner of it enjoying the deadly leaves of the plant.  It will either be eaten, smoked or pewtered into a form that is mixed with water and acid, then injected into the arm. 

Still going strong: Pensioner David Latimer from Cranleigh, Surrey, with his bottle garden that was first planted 53 years ago and has not been watered since 1972 - yet continues to thrive in its sealed environment

David Latimer poses next to a technology he likely never thought would be twisted by the drug power elite worldwide.

The plant is created by taking a dangerous strain of Salvia and crossbreeding it with spiderwort, a hearty, smokeable weed that has little hallucinogenic effect by itself.  The process of crossing these plants is called scrogging.
The scrog offspring are then thrown into these specially sealed bottles with nutrients and water, growing to their full adult size in only one month.  There is no way to track these down, as they can be grown with a minimal of sunlight –an induced electron photosynthesis reaction–  in very tight, confined spaces.  As you read this, some marijuana addict could be grooming your child for drug addiction and prostitution by giving them a mini-mason jar full of this plant.  They will want a bigger size and come back to their ‘bottle dealer’ down the road.
The effects that this new ‘eternal marijuana’ will have on the US and global population waits to be seen.  Nothing good can come from it and hopefully by lobbying Congress, those of us against pot can ensure that growing the hybrid version of the native spiderwort will result in all the strain being destroyed.
Side Effects of SSMB
In Brazil, eternal marijuana is already legal.  The spiderwort’s plant gives the injected and smoked forms of the drug the ability to alter DNA, to the point that it has carcinogenic effect.  Above, a South American man smokes a marijuana cig and it is immediately obvious that the drug is forcing his body to grow calceneous growths.
The wood-like growths have been seen in about 30% of people who smoke the new eternal marijuana strains.
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