Marijuana Cures Republican Pastor of Stupidity

Haywood Bynum III

Republican strategist Pastor Haywood Bynum III had a moment of unprecedented clairvoyance after smoking a bowl of weed while on sabbatical in Denver, Colorado.

Topeka, KS –  “He was actually pretty cool to hang with,” said Colorado State student Taylor Dodson, after learning that a guy they found crashed on their couch was actually chief parishioner of a mid-sized Baptist church notorious for making headlines across the world.

Dodson’s description of his night with the ‘marijuana influenced’ pastor does not differ from other students who had a chance to hang out with the ‘man from on high’.

Raul Lopez, a member of the gay-student alliance talked of how after he learned the guy everyone was clamored about was a very conservative right-wing politician, he wanted to give him a piece of his mind.  “I once heard a his sermon clip on YouTube about how Christian Mingle was allowing gay people, and how that was a bad thing because it could tempt ‘innocent Christian men’ to fall in love with gay people secretly grooming them for an encounter and then dancing the horizontal fandango.’”

Lopez was shocked when he confronted the pastor, who locals confirm was Haywood Bynum III.  “He actually stood up and shook my hand, smiling at my GLAAD shirt.  He asked, ‘Think you can get me one of those?’”

Though Haywood Bynum tried to paint a different picture of his experience from that night, reports are consistent that he was a very fun, decent and loving person to hang with.  He signed autographs, drank a few shots and even made a massive order of pizza and chicken wings, an unprecedented showing of generosity at a late night fraternity party.