Meanwhile, Thanksgiving in Romneyville

Sterling Manchester II
• TopekasNews

Dissheveled and pumping his own gas, Mitt Romney stands solemnly as he pumps his own gas on a somewhat cold day in Massachusetts. His Facebook friends are dumping him in the thousands per day, and his twitter is all but devoid of the sweet chirpings of his ‘fans’.

It would seem that with at least $250 million dollars at his disposal, Romney would have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. His wife surely appears to love him, his five sons are healthy and one so muscled in the head, he actually admitted he wanted to ‘punch Barack Obama’ for defeating his dad in a debate. With such a loyal family and great wealth, most Americans would be happy. But not Mitt Romney.

In his mind, he is being haunted right now. There are some danged kids down in Buloxi, eating candied yams and turkey, getting to watch grandma back an apple pie with money that was provided to their poor family by government SNAP cards. They are on welfare. Mitt Romney cries and drinks deep chugs of whiskey, because he knows that at some family thanksgiving a World War II vet will have a stroke, be rushed to the E.R. by his family and have his life saved, without going into financial ruin, because he has Medicare and Tricare covering the bulk of his medical expenses.

In a land that was supposedly founded on sharing and commonality in brotherhood, Romney seems to not like the application of those concepts in modern practice. And as we can see, he is sloppy in depression because of it.

Despite that, we would like to wish Mitt Romney a Happy Thanksgiving. Chin up, buckaroo. When the day comes he or his descendants need some Obamacare, we’ll protect that for him. And the day will come. And someway, somehow, a Romney will finally be grateful for America and Thanksgiving.

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