North Korea – “We will blow up America”
The North Koreans are planning a third nuclear weapons test and this time, they said they will set their eyes on blowing up America. Perhaps inspired by the new release of “Red Dawn”, the North Koreans are literally up in arms and planning a full out invasion of America’s mainland.
News of North Koreas plans to aim nuclear weapons at America were announced early Thursday morning, when North Korea revealed America is the ‘sworn enemy of the Korean people”.
North Korea’s National Defence Commission revealed the nuclear weapons precision and aim would be designed to cripple America’s defenses, so that a land invasion could potentially take place. North Korea then vowed to push ahead with myriad launches of long-range rockets, so that they could be sure to ‘strike the home and life of every American’.
North Korea also demanded the United Nations end all sanctions and recognize it as a sovereign state. The United Nations security council was judged ‘a marionette of the US’ by North Korean state media, where all UN resolutions were claimed bo be ‘products of its blind pursuance of the hostile policy of the US.”
Kim Jong Un then issued a demand:
“The UNSC should apologise for its crime of seriously encroaching upon the independence of a sovereign state … and repeal all the unreasonable ‘resolutions’ at once.”
Pyongyang officials are now also stating no further negotiations on North Korea’s nuclear ambitions to take place. They only issued a warning to Washington: “A nuclear test of higher level will take place on American soil.”
For now, US intelligence reports activity indicating North Korea is preparing another underground nuclear test. The UN security council is up in arms, but China is using its veto vote to forbid America or any other nation from using military force on North Korea.
Barack Obama disparched Glyn Davies, the special representative for North Korean policy to handle the situation. Davies issued the passive-aggressive stance, “urging” North Korea not to go ahead with the test, stating it would be ‘a mistake and a missed opportunity.”
In addition to all its aired grieavances, North Korea is also apparently upset that international media reported Kim Jong-Un received plastic surgery aimed at making him look more like his father.