Oklahoma City, Oklahoma – A local hospital announced a major miracle this Sunday: 14 formally terminal patients have been cured within a week, thanks to the facility’s new Department of Faith Healing and Diagnostic Medicine.
Dr. Kent Friesz reports, “In my 25 years of practice, I’ve never seen such a thing. The idea came up in a monthly hospital community meeting, where a group 0f local pastors offered to bring ‘faith-based’ medicine to our hospital for a small fee. For exchange of their services, all they asked was a small portion of the hospital to do their praying/faith rituals and to have access to census data for patients who ‘opt-in’ to view their closed-circuit services that air on Sundays, to be able to sell ‘faith-based’ medicines in our gift shop and medical roster.
Friesz continued, “This Sunday was only their second week of broadcast, and already, they have completely healed 14 patients of terminal illness.”
Citing HIPPA, Dr. Friesz refused to release information of what the terminally ill patients were healed of, but insisted that the conditions were ‘well advanced and we expected none of the patients to live more than several months. Several were already scheduled for short-term hospice.”
The hospital’s gift shop reports that the “Holy Water” and “Healing Oil”, which were consumed and rubbed on each of the healed patients, has been sold out for the past week. Vendors from other hospitals are actually coming in to buy the oil and water, at the demand of patients.
“Several surgeons have actually used the oil before procedures, anointing the patient’s and themselves. Our dietary staff has also approved the unique holy water, blessed in The Vatican, to be ordered along with meals. One bottle of the water only costs $9.99 and can be charged to insurance companies along with all of the medicine and equipment since we list it specifically as an in-house coded item. We have not been able to keep up with the demand for keeping enough water shipped in,” reports Pastor Pat Heinkel, a doctor of theology who now sits on the hospital’s Board of Physicians and Surgeons.
“My doctorate is that of faith, and the spiritual man can leading to healing of the physical man. My understanding of physical medicine has saved lives at this hospital and I can only look forward to the day more hospitals bring in their own Department of Faith Healing.”
Pastor Heinkel has the same admitting privileges at the hospital as hospitalists. Patients being admitted to the Faith Healing Department at the hospital sign a form (family signs for the patient if the patient is unconscious/unable) acknowledging that the physicians caring for them are ‘faith physicians’ and that their healing will start with the ‘spiritual man’, then lead to healing of the ‘physical man’.
To date, 27 patients have been admitted to the department. 14 have been medically cleared as ‘completely cured’ of their respective diseases, while 10 are still undergoing faith therapy and 3 have expired.
While many patients are demanding to be admitted to the department, Faith-Doctor Heinkel reports, “Our RNs and Nuns, who work side-by-side nursing our patients, are just overstaffed and we have no more rooms in this unit. We will put in a request next week that the hospital expands to give us 50 more beds to heal this people and let them walk out of here in great health, faith and spirit.”