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Peyton Manning Sets New NFL Record, “Quarterback To Get His Ass Kicked Hardest in Superbowl”

East Rutherford, New Jersey
– After a season of setting most completed passes and touchdowns, Peyton Manning has set yet another record by getting his ass kicked the hardest in front of an international audience.

Luckily able to score once in the game, Manning stood in stoic silence and simply wandered off the field, as the Seattle Seahawks and the spirit of the 12th man danced under blue and green confetti.

Denver fan Sherman Jones commented, “Well, I can’t say I’m proud of Peyton’s performance, but at least we managed to injure that asshole Sherman.”