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Pope Francis Comes Out of Closet As True Christian, Absolutely Shocks Republicans

Washington, DC (TopNews) – The Republican Party is in chaotic disarray and steeping in madness. Pope Francis announced recently that he is a true Christian, partially by condemning greed of capitalism and embracing atheists and gays as equals who should not be judged by himself or others.

“The Pope’s most recent messages of love and unity in 2013 fly against all the dogma, tradition and moral conservatism we’ve built up for over 200 years,” an angered Kansas City native, Doug Chapman, reported. “The last time I heard someone claiming to be an important ‘Christian’ extolling the Pope’s values was when Jesus was being communist in the Bible! You see what happened to him!”

[adsense]Chapman’s views reflect that of many other Republicans, especially those on Fox News. Bewildered by how the Pope continues to shame the modern Republican agenda, several Fox News commentators authored the piece “Pope Francis is the Catholic Church’s Obama.

Fox News and the Religious Right’s war against the Pope has not stopped there.  Fox News has called for an official war against the Pope, having their last straw with him after he went to a 3rd world prison, washed the feet of prisoners and kissed the feet, to show how ‘not anyone is above anyone else, and should have the humility of Christ.

“I knew something was wrong with this Pope when he refused to address the homogay agenda,” said Baptist Bible Fellowship parishioner Haywood Bynum III.  “He actually said that gays can be Christian, but if you read your Bible and then realize DOMA is a federal law, you can see that his words are that of a snake!  Lies!  No gay Christians!”

Pope Francis only had this to say in response:



The Pope went on to say that atheists can be good people, just like anyone else.  The Pope has become good friends with the president of Uruguay, who is a self-described atheist.  In his message to humanity, the Pope made it clear that to live like Christ, one must actually be humble, charitable, defender of the weak/exploited, loving, non-judgmental and welcoming.  He has gone about the world proving his is not a hypocrite, by living the words he speaks to the masses..

The Pope Befriends Atheists and Sees Them As Good People Too – Good Will Towards Men


The Pope Kisses Feet of Prisoners in 3rd World Prison, To Remind Everyone That No Person Is Better Than Someone Else Because Wealth, Fame or Fortune – Humility


Pope Dresses In Ordinary Priest Clothing, Then Regularly Sneaks Out At Night To Give Food and Money to the Needy


Pope Heard a Soup Kitchen Needed More Money, So He Sold His Harley Davidson Motorcycle and Gave The Kitchen All Money He Made From The Sale


When the Pope extends his pointer finger toward the sky, a dove naturally descends from the heavens and lands on it.  Every single time.  Millions of people flock to the Vatican to witness this miracle.


The Pope regularly walks among large crowds and the masses, instead of hiding away and being distant.


The Pope enjoys taking ‘selfies’ with younger followers and will even help them pick Instagram filters.


Pope Francis stood with natives in South America, who demanded large companies stop stealing their land and turning into parking lots.

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A young child ran onto stage during a Mass, the Pope let the kid play, sit in his chair and did not make a big deal about it.


He embraces all people with love and compassion, in the example of Christ.POPE FRANCIS' GENERAL AUDIENCE pope_1492085f   pope-francis-2013-2

When he found out there were homeless people outside during his birthday party, the Pope immediately invited them in as his guests of honor.  The men purportedly received very nice help as gifts from the Pope.

Pope Francis and archbishop Konrad Krajewski welcome some homeless men at the Vatican

The Pope has frustrated Republicans by saying there is too much focus on gay marriage, abortion and other irrelevant things.  The Pope has condemned modern conservatives as greedy.