Stingray Photobomb Proves Intelligence of Animals, Why We Must Be Vegans

Sterling Manchester II
• TopekasNews

To eat a strand of meat is to commit murder. My friends, how can we call humanity a civilized form of life when we are still wont to eat of the flesh of those who may be weaker than us, but entitled to all the same rights and privileges that we enjoy? Indeed, as a younger intellectual, I watched an episode of the Twilight Zone where an advanced alien life came to Earth, promising peace and prosperity for our civilization.

These aliens, standing so tall, powerful and cerebral, presented unto us a book. It was a book of new beginnings, or so we thought. In time, the aliens solved all the problems the GOP had started for us: wars, famine, homelessness, subjugation of others. There was no longer need for nuclear weapons nor armies. Our food was self-sustained all was well and the aliens began to send shuttles for us, so that we could go visit their home world.

But in a California university, a tragic discovery was made. The name of the book was discovered and its name was: To Serve Mankind. And within the book, we found that the aliens did not plan on serving us, kindly. They planned on serving us with a nice Chianti, perchance with a side of fava beans. Our planet was actually converted into a giant cattle farm and we were the food.

The circle of life can be vicious and just as much as an advanced alien would be committing murder for eating us, no matter how dumb we may seem to them, it is criminal to eat the flesh of any other animal. All life is precious and all intelligence is simply relative. Should we be able to eat babies, just because they are not as mentally advanced as others? Would it be kosher to eat George W. Bush, because the man cannot figure out how to say ‘nuclear’ and honestly believed he played no part in our country’s current failure?

The clear answer is no, we should not eat the flesh of others. Veganism is the noble way of life and the picture of this stingray drives that fact home. The stingray is visibly smiling in this image. It found three cute women in the ocean and like any male, decided to flirt with them. Animal behaviorists know so little of the powerfully, mysterious brain. But know this: there is a bit of human in every creäture, because we all share the gift of animal life.

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