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Vladimir Putin Earns 9th Degree Black Belt, Now Outranks Even Chuck Norris

Moscow, Russia – Just to make sure world leaders don’t try any funny business with him in one-on-one meetings, Vladimir Putin today earned his 9th degree black belt and is required to tell anyone that he can kill them if he chooses to get in a fight.

To put Putin’s accomplishment in perspective, he now outranks the much revered Chuck Norris. ¬†We don’t know if Putin can do such things such as bounce bullets off his beard or if he attacks sharks when he smells them bleed, well, maybe the second one he does do.