PSA: Will Someone Please Tell Miley Cyrus To Stop Twerking It?

A visibly shaken Smith family winces in shocked horror at the ‘gap of Miley’ as she twerks herself upon Robin Thicke..

 Brooklyn, NY –  Jayden Smith’s brow furrowed in ways yet unseen as he watched Miley Cyrus go through her ‘twerking dance’ upon the seat of Robin Thicke’s pants.

Will and Jada-Pinket Smith were equally appalled, as a hushed crowd clamped their noses and wondered how the MTV Video Music Awards fell from being a showcase of great song and dance, to a stripshow where primal mating rituals are carried out by today’s media darlings.

Miley Cyrus has sought to get a bad girl image and someone out there has convinced her that twerking it is the key to doing so.

That someone out there, I have a sincere request for you:  please, tell Miley Cyrus to stop twerking.

First of all, the outfit she is wearing is not very flattering.  It looks like a certain, defined object left a permanent ‘wedgie spot’ in her backside due to how tightly cut those plastic chaps are upon her.  And Robin Thicke is a decent performer.  What does he even need to be twerked upon, if not just to create media headlines?

I remember the days when “The Moonwalk” was something unveiled at these award shows.  That was a new dancemove that did not rely on being provocative to be awesome, it was just cool.  Even a past Britney Spears would take time to learn a complex dance routine to wow crowds at the awards.   Her dancing, while not on par with Janet Jackson, was fun to watch and did involve a level of talent.

But now, why not just hire a set of Vegas showgirls to take the stage?  If twerking is going to be a part of hallmark entertainment, we can just help someone working a pole in Vegas at 3am, tell him or her that they can instead dance around with Robin Thicke and be called ‘premier entertainment’ with a recording contract.  It matters not if they can sing or dance:  autotone, baby.

Miley Cyrus training to be #1 member of Twerkteam.

Several months ago, I came across the phenomenon called ‘Twerking It’.  Like most, I thought it would be another dance fad that came and went.  Oh boy, I was sadly mistaken.  It seems that ‘musicians’ these days are more into making Twitter headlines and following trends instead of being the trendsetters.

Judging by her father’s ability to still be wealthy and relevant from his self-made ‘Achy, Breaky Heart’ fame, perhaps it is time for Ms. Twerkerpants to sit down and have a heart-to-heart with her dad.  After her youthful tone starts to fade and the cameras decide they don’t want to see cellulite bouncing around, what will she fall back on?

We have seen the fall of musicians who fell into the ‘bare-it’ cycle hit hard times, perhaps Brittney Spears being the most notable.  It would be nice to see such a fate prevented for Miley Cyrus, especially while she is still young.  She is fabulously wealthy, has media clout and strong support:  why not train her now to develop a reputation for musical entertainer and not ‘stripper’.