The German National Soccer team was unstoppable. Their passes, crisp and robotic. Their thigh muscles, rippling as if they were of the god Apollo himself. The entire nation of Brazil could do nothing but weep as the Germans boldly marched into their country and as they did in 1940s [...]
Marijuana To Blame for Luis Suarez Biting Ear of Italian Player During World Cup Match
When Uruguay legalized marijuana right before the 2013 soccer season, the world held its breath as everyone new that...
Cheater Bronco Peyton Manning Finally Arrested for Marijuana Possession
Shocked referee stares in disbelief as a marijuana fueled Peyton Manning easily tosses two San Diego Chargers...
Republican Commenator: “Gay Agenda Now Plaguing The NFL”
This is an excerpt from a local sports broadcast covering Michael Sam’s recent drafting into the NFL. It is...
Donald Sterling: I’m Not Racist, “I Put Food On Black People’s Table”
Los Angeles Clipper owner Donald Sterling is facing even more heat today. New extended audio allegedly reveals the embattled owner providing evidence of his non-racist attitude. How can Donald Sterling not be racist, he puts food on the table of black people? Unbelievable: The backstory to this controversy started when [...]Read more ›
Ultimate Warrior Real Name James Brian Hellwig, Dead at 54
The Ultimate Warrior’s real name is James Brian Hellwig. The WWE made the sad announcement today that the Ultimate Warrior, James Hellwig, passed away. He was 54-years-old. TMZ reports Hellwig was leaving a hotel late Tuesday night, when he suddenly fell down and lost consciousness. The legendary wrestler was leaving [...]Read more ›
Legendary Wrestler Ultimate Warrior Dead at 54
WWE just announced the death of the Ultimate Warrior. One of the greatest entertainers in the industry, James Hellwig (The Ultimate Warrior), died only moments after Wrestlemania and just a few days after being inducted to Hall of Fame for the WWE. Sources claim the wrestler had a syncopal episode [...]Read more ›
Nets Sign Openly Gay Jason Collins, Everyone On Team Does Not Spontaneously Catch Gay, Aids
Brooklyn, New York – Shocking conservative commentators nationwide, the Brooklyn Nets signed the first openly gay NBA player, Jason Collins. Causing even more shock, the entire team has not caught gay or AIDS. For years, there has been a stigma against having a gay man on a professional sports team. [...]Read more ›
Russian Olympians Used Performance Enhancing Marijuana To Win Olympic Gold
The Russian Federation used marijuana to enhance the abilities of all their athletes at the 2014 winter games in Sochi. Taking a page from the NFL’s Denver Broncos and Seattle Seahawks, who muscled their way to the Superbowl using potent strains of marijuana, Team Russia used copious amounts of marijuana [...]Read more ›
Team America vs. Team Canada Hockey, Loser Must Keep Justin Bieber
Sochi, Russian Federation – The fate of Western civilization once again plays out in the icy palisades of the Soviet Union. In an unprecedented display of upping the ante, rumors are circulating that Justin Bieber will reside for at least half a year in the country who loses the hockey [...]Read more ›