Denver Outlaws Wafting Marijuana Smoke, Tokers to face Jailtime and Fines

A victory in the War on Marijuana (WOM) has been won today, my good friends.  In a sweeping unanimous vote, the .

After my televised sermon in Denver after the great 2013 marijuana-wrath floods, many of the faithful in Denver reached out to me and declared their loyalty in fighting harder to rid their streets of deadly marijuana.  Woe is the man who does not protect our children, and what greater danger to children can there be than free-form marijuana smoke wafting all around?

Together we prayed and for the good people of Denver, who sent me $19.99 to get holy-oil dipped prayer cloths to cover your nose as you walked through the city and prayed, you are welcome.  Not only did our prayers convince your city council to outlaw wafting marijuana smoke, but it has even purified the muscles of the Denver Broncos and has allowed them to go undefeated this year.

Denver Outlaws Wafting Marijuana Smoke after Christian Pastor/Saints Pray for Anti-Marijuana Legislation

Once our ordinance is passed, my friends, anyone who is caught smoking marijuana and blowing that deadly smoke around will face $999 in fines and a maximum one-year in jail.  This will keep boofers out of your parks, schools, churches and other public venues, forcing them to smoke their shameful devil’s lettuce in their mother’s basements where they belong.

Denver’s mayor offers more insight to this wonderful ordinance:  “This proposed ordinance clearly communicates what our residents and visitors are and are not allowed to do in public,” Hancock said in a statement. “It also ensures that our public spaces remain enjoyable for residents, families and tourists.”

When your neighbors compliment the fresh mountain air in Denver, tell them ‘you’re welcome’.  It was our prayers that took the marijuana out of Denver’s streets and we will continue to pray, until marijuana is once again drug free in the great state of Colorado.  I will be flying back out this winter, to check progress and see if we need to hold another prayer rally and product selling session to help you fine people of Colorado keep your state morally straight.