Colorado Marred by Marijuana-Brain Syndrome, Should We Replace it With A New State?

Only weeks after marijuana was legalized in Colorado, sources indidate that at least 40% of the people in the state –especially teens– are now suffering from .  Marijuana-Brain Syndrome (or MBS) is characterized by a near-permanent state of addiction and paranoid hallucination, making those who suffer from it constantly wide-eyed, delusional and dangerous.

Pot smoke has a high affinity for hemoglobin, meaning that when smoked in copious amounts it can be just as deadly as contained carbon monoxide.  The tainted residues of pot smoke will literally crowd out oxygen in hemoglobin, giving weed tokers their typically braindead, groggy appearance.  This is exactly what we see happening in Colorado, but on a statewide scale.

Pot smoke does not dissipate and it inertly ‘hovers’ like a nearly invisible thicket of morning fog, meaning everyone in Colorado is imbibing its vapors on a daily basis.  This makes a day in Colorado the equivalent to being trapped in a garage with a running car, then thinking that the harmful vapors you are breathing will not have an impact on your health.  Of course in time you will suffer the consequences and that is the fate that has fallen upon the good people of Colorado.

It is my fear that Colorado will soon fall into a third-world state.  People who smoke hell’s hookah do not have jobs and at best, can only muster enough energy to arise to satiate their ‘munchies’ and play some video games, which must look like a technicolor adventure of LSD-madness considering the hallucinogenic properties of the compound.  But my deep concern is that since marijuana remains inert until it binds hemoglobin, that the innocent people who become victimzed by the second-hand smoke of all the lit marijuana splices will soon suffer from MBS as well.

How To Spot a Marijuana-Brain Syndrome Sufferer?

Those addicted to pot have the dopamine reward-pleasure center of the brain tainted with ‘pot hashish’.  When binding the hemoglobin in this region, the marijuana vapor carries physical residue which begins to clot in the brain, giving MSB sufferers their classic signs and habits.  This disease is typically irreversible and results in prostitution, pathway diseases and sometimes death from secondary association.

Once addicted to marijuana, even the most task-oriented loved one can become sloven and lazy, diseased and maniacal.  Marijuana hinders the brain in all areas, making sufferers of MBS wear shorts in cold weather and unable to see the need for sunglasses when indoors.   The drug also produces pyschosis, making the diseased not care for the rights of others, including their pets.  Most marijuana smokers keep a cat around for sport and to have a ‘toking buddy’ with, usually resulting in the cat’s overwhelmed digestive system to release occassional plumes of smoke.  If you see any of these habits in your friends or loved ones, immediately call your local psychiatric hospital to get them the help they need.  If you live in Colorado, move to a safer state.

A recent poll in Colorado indicates the people of the state are defiant of the federal governent.  Even President Barack Obama and Joe Biden are creating a task-force to overturn the wicked law passed by the state, but the drug-addeled people of Colorado are fighting tooth and nail to keep their habit.  They are addicts.  They cannot and will not give up without a fight, as shown in Gallup’s recent poll of the state’s voting populace.

Colorado Public Opinion of Pot Enforcement shows overwhelming defiance against morality and First Lady Nancy Reagan’s war on drugs. It is time to consider war on Colorado if they do not comply with America’s moral drug code of only allowing mind-altering pharmaceutical drugs to be legal.

MBS sufferers are prone to sloven depression, which results in the unshowered, unkempt appearance we typically associate with marijuana abusers.  With not much to lose, the people of Colorado could soon form into a massive, socialist-benefits yearning society of degenerate misfits.  We cannot support a state full of ‘teenage attitude’ adults who are lippy, lazy and lustful.  They will just create babies, raise them in drug homes and then expect federal benefits to let them perpetuate the cycle in belly-full-of Doritos and beer glee. I, for one, will not stand for one of our states becoming a third-world country.  Thus I propose we kick Colorado out of America, so that we can declare war on it as we would do a foreign nation who posed danger to us all.
After conquering the state and any ‘pot-friendly’ enemies within, we can readmit Colorado as a new state under control of the Republican party, who assuredly does not condone the ridiculous law Colorado currently enjoys.  We can even rename the state as a memorial, perhaps the state of “Reagan” in honor of the president who fought hardest against drugs.  It would also serve as a constant reminder that the United States takes the war on drugs seriously and will take any measure to assure that we remain a drug-free America.