God Drowns Boulder Colorado Marijuana With Biblical Flood, All Plants Destroyed
Behold, the power of God!
The National Weather Service issued a ‘Biblical Flood Warning’ for the Boulder, Colorado, area. Scientists nationwide cowered in fear and despair as an unprecedented rush of heavenly water terrorized the weed breathers of Colorado. They had no chance to pack and flee their homes, but only climb the highest objects nearest them and pray out to God for forgiveness.
Looking like pharaoh after God caused the parted Red Sea to come crashing down on his little sinful sot soldiers, a bewildered Barack Obama begged Congress to give aide money to Colorado. In an interview, a wide-eyed Obama confessed, “This Act of God, there is no way to prepare for this. All we can do is hope it lets up and then rebuild.”
Locals report the flood water came from nowhere, it just teleported and appeared over the Colorado Rockies. One local woman stated the water was at least ’20 feet taller’ than the tallest mountain peaks.
The National Weather Service issued a terse bulletin at 9:41 a.m. on Thursday that attempted to convey the scale of the threat: “Major flooding/flash flooding event underway at this time with biblical rainfall amounts reported in many areas in/near the foothills.”
[…] the aftermath of the “Boulder Flood,” there’s predictably been some mediocre satire blaming the “Biblical flood” on Colorado’s marijuana legalization efforts. It’s […]
Like or Dislike: 0 0
“It’s not just about the numbers, we’re talking about a disease that impacts the lives of hundreds or thousands of folks whose lives will be permanently changed by this outbreak,” Lakey said.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
(CBS News) For the first time, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is speaking in depth about the killing of U.S. Ambassador to Libya Christopher Stevens and the questions surrounding how the attacks were characterized by administration officials in the days after the consulate attack.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
On the House floor this afternoon, Speaker John Boehner, R-Ohio, went after the president for missing a deadline today to submit his budget to Congress, and suggested, “one example of something the president’s budget could have addressed is his sequester.”
Like or Dislike: 0 0
There is prejudice here. It is undeniable that many associate Lewis’ case with the Simpson case. They fill in the parts they don’t know with details from OJ’s eventual acquittal.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
The question of sanctions against Syria and Iran will be a main topic of conversation among officials later this month at the U.N. General Assembly.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
It was one of several TV appearances Rice made that day.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
Lagarde: I’m reasonably optimistic and sometimes desperately optimistic. And I want to be desperately optimistic and I want to believe that countries will understand that they can actually change the course of things.
Like or Dislike: 0 0
The new packaging and ad campaign for the product, which has about 120 calories and 4.5 grams of fat compared with 150 calories and 8 grams of fat in regular Dreyer’s mint chocolate chip, has the tagline “1/2 the Fat, 1/3 Fewer Calories than Regular Ice cream.”
Like or Dislike: 0 0