God Drowns Boulder Colorado Marijuana With Biblical Flood, All Plants Destroyed

Tex Springfield
Tex Springfield
• TopekasNews

Behold, the power of God!

The National Weather Service issued a ‘Biblical Flood Warning’ for the Boulder, Colorado, area.  Scientists nationwide cowered in fear and despair as an unprecedented rush of heavenly water terrorized the weed breathers of Colorado.  They had no chance to pack and flee their homes, but only climb the highest objects nearest them and pray out to God for forgiveness.

Depth: Traffic clogs the Pearl Street bridge as crowds of people check out the level of the swollen river in downtown Grand Rapids. The river hit a record 21.86ft yesterday morning

Looking like pharaoh after God caused the parted Red Sea to come crashing down on his little sinful sot soldiers, a bewildered Barack Obama begged Congress to give aide money to Colorado.  In an interview, a wide-eyed Obama confessed, “This Act of God, there is no way to prepare for this.  All we can do is hope it lets up and then rebuild.”

Locals report the flood water came from nowhere, it just teleported and appeared over the Colorado Rockies.  One local woman stated the water was at least ’20 feet taller’ than the tallest mountain peaks.

The National Weather Service issued a terse bulletin at 9:41 a.m. on Thursday that attempted to convey the scale of the threat: “Major flooding/flash flooding event underway at this time with biblical rainfall amounts reported in many areas in/near the foothills.”


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