Sochi, Soviet Union – The Red Soviet hockey team has once again fallen before the might of America. In a shootout, with all on the line, we see that once again American capitalism and the sons it bears shall always prevail over communism.
Over the past few months, smug Vladimir Putin has been licking his chops, fantasizing about how his ‘macho men’ of the ice would trounce America. But alas, we see today the Russians are resorting to the crybaby commie-liberal rhetoric of they cheated! and trying to blame the outcome on the refs.
Just like in the times of the 1980s, where brave Ronald Reagan enlisted the help of none-other than Pope John Paul II to terrify communists into tearing down the Berlin Wall, we see today Putin has learned a valuable lesson.
It matters not that you may or may not have gay people on your Olympics team. The nation which embraces freedom and accepts all people will always have an upper edge. I can only hope one of the members of the US Hockey Team is actually gay, so we can just rub it all in the face of the Russian politicians.