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America Kicks Piers Morgan Out For Liberal Conspiracy to Steal Our Guns

Cultural saboteur Piers Morgan is finally getting kicked out of America.

Americans became wary of Morgan after his continued attempts to rid all of America’s homes of guns.  Morgan has tirelessly worked to take away the Constitutional rights of all Americans, which in itself is an act of terror.   A leaked document showed Morgan was working under the direct dictates of Queen Elizabeth II, who has long held a secret desire to see America in ruins and kneeling before the British crown before her rule comes to end.

Morgan, who is in line for the Royal of Red Knighthood (a historically high British honor, for those who ‘fight valiantly against rebellious colonials’), caused mass protests when he blamed the tragic Dark Knight Returns shooting on American gun violence.  After that event, he regularly used every sample of violence involving guns to push for unreasonable gun legislation.

Fortunately, Americans started to realize that for every one American tragedy, Morgan would devote hours feasting on the corpses of victims like an old buzzard, picking apart a story to find any way to push his anti-American agenda.

CNN is pulling the plug on “Piers Morgan Live” because it is un-American, and therefore un-Godly, un-Freedom and un-Democracy, to take guns away from Americans.

[adsense]It is unclear if Morgan will sail back to England, defeated by America, or if he will stick around with his rowdy partner in crime, Simon Cowell, and openly mock and dash the dreams of countless Americans who want to have a singing career.

Look at him working hard to destroy freedom.

Would good Senator Joseph McCarthy allow this sort of red-tactic journalism take place in this fine country. What a scary, sad shame that Morgan was allowed to twist the mind of so many innocent, pure Americans. I can only guess the vulnerable college-aged John Stewart demographic was the Nielsen majority in his scant audience, but even a little rotten seed can sprout roots. So let us loudly remind everyone that a key part of being American is the right to bear arms, so we can fight off red-coated invasion when necessary.