For Advice, Lifetips and Answers to your life’s pressing questions, email Haywood at Topeka News.
[dropcap]D[/dropcap]ear Pastor Bynum, I am a college student at Washburn University and had the privilege of attending your young adult relationship seminar several weeks ago. I didn’t have the chance to ask then (call it embarassment) but what do you do if you think your long-time girlfriend is cheating on you?
Several of my friends said my best friend and my love has cheated on me several times. There was no alcohol involved. She was also seen walking out of a mutual male friend’s place while I was out of town for the weekend. She was ‘wearing pjs and lingered at the door’. Do women really cheat and try to get away with it? I don’t know if I am just being paranoid, or if I should really investigate this more before asking her to marry me this spring.
Confused Student of Life
Confused Student at Life,
Women are natural-borne cheaters. Why do women cheat? Because they can!
MensHealth.com did a survey and found that over 48% of newlywed women cheat within a year after marriage. Maybe they cheated by getting a sensual shoulder rub from a co-worker, or maybe like you learned first hand, the minute your back is turned they were getting their fill of the next closest male.
Women tend to build emotional bonds too fast. The guy they meet in the healthfood aisle one second they will consider a ‘best friend’ the next week. And being a guy, you know first hand what message that sends to us: “I’m in! Now let me find the bedroom invite”.
Here are some other sobering things for you to consider, as it is obvious since you have two friends confirming suspicious acts about your girlfriend that she is a habitual cheater:
#1 Women love any men who will give her emotional support. I am assuming your girlfriend is also in college. Her emotions are all over the place. You seem busy: you work and go to school, you say you travel on the weekend. All that is time when your woman has an emotional void to fill. If you are not there to fill it, she will instinctively go out and find someone to fill that void, and eventually, she will give him a chance to fill her “pleasure void” all he wants.
#2 Female species instinctively seek to be dominated. Turn on PBS or Discovery Channel, maybe watch The Big Cat Diary. All the female cats on the show are a perfect representation of your girlfriend in the wild. They are alert and on the move, constantly being pursued by big male cats as they continue their day-to-day tasks of survival. Women are an opportunistic species, they will succumb to the powerful roars of the next big suitor. The bigger his bank account, charisma, friends or lucky timing, the better.
#3 Women are suckers for love, affection, attention and compliments. Women love compliments, your girlfriend is no exception. The Age of Facebook makes it especially easy for her to cheat. If you could see in her inbox, you would see conversation after conversation of men trying their best to secretly compliment her. It’s like a game of strip poker.
Every right compliment they give her, they deal out a blow to her emotional ‘moral guard’. She’ll first strip down her sense of loyalty, revealing more about herself and her wants. She will then strip down her respect for you, maybe sneaking out with her new guy friends. A few compliment later, she’s scratching his back and screaming his name as he pelts a few of his ‘mini’me’s’ down her love canal.
And just think about that; whatever guy your girlfriend talks about or keeps ‘liking’ his stuff on Facebook, he has his seed swimming around her special place.
With two confirmed sightings, it is best to assume your girlfriend is a cheater. If you took the effort to write me and attend the couple’s seminar a few weeks ago (I am assuming without your girlfriend), it is already over. You know in your gut you should not trust her; it will take you years to trust another woman. Tough luck to you, but your woman cheated and it is going to psychologically ruin you for a while. You have come to realize a truth: women do love to cheat.
Best of luck. If you already have bought the ring, take it back and hope for a decent refund.
Enjoy your column! My husband and I are buying a Wii U for our kids and they really want Batman Arcade Asylum for it. We think the game would be fine but are concerned with all the recent shooting violence in the country and President Obama saying it is the fault of video games. What is your take on this and is the Wii U the most family friendly system? That is what we heard?
Thanks in advance for your advice!
Video Game Buying Parents in the City
Dear Video Game Buying Parents,
The Wii U is just as dirty, dangerous and deceiving as any other gaming system. The game to which you are most likely referring is actually entitle Batman: Arkham City. It is a game about Batman fighting villains, which would not seem bad in itself. But to fight those villains, the game uses the Wii U’s unique control system to trick the brain into thinking it is Batman.
I have tested the game and it really does brainwash you: you can feel your blood surge as you bludgeon your enemies and feel fear and need for revenge as they shoot at you and your loved ones. The scene where a fight leaves you emotionally vulnerable and then seduced by Catwoman causes uncomfortable twinges down below. They try to say this game is family friendly, but let me tell you the opposite is quite true.
If you would not drop your kid off in a short skirt at 2am Central Park, do not buy them a Wii U. To drive my point home, here is a preview shot of one of the Wii U’s new games from the Super Mario Brother’s series, a game that has for years claimed to be family friendly and designed for teens.
Call me old fashioned, but there is nothing family friendly about this image. First, look at how she has already revealed her shaking shames and is proceeding to strip off of stockings and knickers, to only hop in the mini pool with your family minutes later. What sort of parents would want this?
Then, if that is not bad enough, you can see mushroomed marijuana surrounding the pool. The game is rated RP for “Role Playing”, meaning it will suck whatever family members playing right into its world of sickness.
Is this what you want your son dreaming about every night?