188232945

Leonardo DiCaprio Defects To Russia, Promised To ‘Win Every Award in Soviet Oscars’

  Russian President Vladimir Putin takes time from masterminding an invasion of the Ukraine to talk to Leonardo DiCaprio about his latest movies and future political connections with Russia. Moscow, Russia – Earlier this week, superstar actor Leonardo DiCaprio failed to win any Oscars and in frustration, flew a jet to...

Continue reading

1Hvpoqn

Secret Canadian Groundtroops Invade Ukraine Crimea Region, Rescue 12 Hostages

Surveillance footage shows that elite Canadian snow commandos have successfully invaded the Crimean peninsula of the Ukraine despite its heavy Russian military occupation. The Canadian snow commandos made a name for themselves during World War II, where their uncanny acts of heroism managed to ward off a German invasion of...

Continue reading

Angela Merkel Finds Putin “In Another World”, Out of Touch With Reality

During a telephone call to Vladimir Putin, German Chancellor Angela Merkel asked for a diplomatic, multi-national solution to the crisis in Ukraine. Putin assured Merkel that Russia’s action were well-warranted and necessary, but did not refuse consideration of a diplomatic solution. German officials who were present during the phone call...

Continue reading

US Moves To Kick Russia out of G8

ABC Entertainment News | ABC Business News WASHINGTON — The United States has warned Russia its inclusion in the G8 is in jeopardy. Following Russia’s armed invasion of the Ukraine, US rhetoric condemning the actions and implying that economic sanctions against the Russian Federation has increased. Russia is set to...

Continue reading

vladimir putin laughs at angrily worded UN Letter

Vexed U.N. Officials Draft Angrily Worded Letter To Russia, Strongly Urge Nation To Stop Starting World War III

[adsense]Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin openly laughs as Ban Ki-Moon angrily read a letter from the UN, which vowed “We shall protest and demand that maybe you cannot be part of the G8 anymore if you do not stop invading other countries!”  New York City, New York – Terribly vexed...

Continue reading

Kansas Creates ‘Jim Crow Segregation Laws for Gays’, Bill Created ‘To Avoid Wrath of God for Normal Folks’

Topeka, KS – In an unprecedented display of stereotypical good-ol-boyism, the state of Kansas is mulling a vote on legislation that is aimed to ‘segregate straight people and gay people, so the former will not incur the wrath of God’. Being called the Anti-gay Segregation Bill, or the Kansas Religious...

Continue reading