A devil baby appeared on a New York sidewalk today and is terrifying New Yorkers. Officials do not know where this devil child has come from, but sources indicate that it is the result of genetic engineering.
Geneticists at SUNY tried to play God and create a batch of superhumans for the Obama administration. Obama allegedly wanted a group of super-soldiers to send out for his future wars in the oil rich holy lands. By splicing in the DNA from various animal genomes, scientists were contracted to create a human ‘with abilities beyond that of a normal man’: enhanced eyesight, super musculature and strength, abilities to swim in deep ocean waters and control marine fauna with telepathic thoughts of the mind and enhanced smarts.
All of this backfired, as we can see altering DNA allows Satan into the genes of a child. No word yet on how this situation is being resolved.