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God Strikes Missouri Town With Fire Tornado For Not Cancelling Cosmos

fire tornado
fire tornado

Chillicothe, Missouri – Neil DeGrasse Tyson and his sinful show Cosmos:  A Space Odyssey is to blame for invoking God’s mighty wrath!  We see the town of Chillicothe, Missouri being struck down with a supernatural fire tornado in this amazing photograph.

In my duties as cultural protector, I checked the TV Guide local listings for this town and here are the results for Sunday, May 11th.  Behold,

fire tornado cosmos to blame


Well, if it were not already bad enough they are airing the atheist propaganda sitcom The Big Bang Theory, we see they sweeten Satan’s daily double of debauchery by offering a feature for The Walking Dead.

But even those two shows combined are not quite enough to really stir the Lord up.  You have to have a show that’s just mean and twisted, a show that threatens to shake the very fragile minds of its viewers and harden their hearts against Creationism, the true explanation of our origin.

Cosmos is just the very show that does that and quite frankly, I must say I told you so.

I have endured countless mean-spirited articles and emails written against me, all after my sermon at the city council meeting that resulted in a petition to get Cosmos banned in my town.  While the show was not completely banned, the network did agree to air a disclaimer and to edit out one part about evolution we found too unsavory for the youth who may have accidentally turned passed the show.

This fire tornado is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what is going to happen to towns who do not outright banish Cosmos and just “Old Earth”, “Big Bang” nonsensical teachings altogether.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson has not apologized to the townsfolk at time of report.