Gullible Apple iPhone 5 Fans Tricked, Believe iPhone 4 Is New Thing

Brent Reiker
• TopekasNews
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I’m going to come out and say it:  the iPhone 5 is one of the best respresentations of what is wrong with America.  Yuppies with far too much money to spend are lining up tonight, patiently waiting to get their soft lotioned hands on this $500 gadget that quite frankly, is not really different the phone released last year.

Apple is profiteering off a cycle of douchbag stupidety in America.  I’m just keeping it real for this Op-Ed, good readers.  We are a nation in the midst of an economic crisis, starving kids without health insurance, talking about cutting funds to every charitable things imaginable and we’re really concerned about a phone whose biggest new feature is instant uploading picture to Instagram to send to Facebook.  Quaint.

What’s even worse in all this is that Apple fans, who I consider the scummiest hypocrites of the capitalist world, don’t really even know the difference between this phone and the last.  They just want to be part of the pack and show their Hollister polo, too tight legging jeaned friends that they too are part of the shiny phone trend.  Yay?

Jimmy Kimmel helps prove a simple point.  What as these Apple fans literally say the iPhone 5 is superior.  Steve Jobs must be in some astral form, laughing it up with P.T. Barnum because how many suckers are going to drop major money on this brick of redundancy?

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Update:  Topeka Fan Jenny Bartell emailed to let us know that a man in Dubai spent $200,000 to get the first iPhone 5 release date product.


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