Every night, millions of wives worldwide lose their husbands to a new internet website named Reddit.com. Most of the men are addicted to a ‘sub-reddit’ called GoneWild, where fiery everyday vixens tempt them to inbox them an IMGUR (Inside My Genitalia Upon Request) message, initiating a fall into a site full of debauchery, lurid stories and wild, ecstatic fantasies celebrated by the almighty ‘upvote’ for Karma.
Reddit Addiction Syndrome. This debilitating neuro-somatic condition plagues over 30 million men a month, sufferers of the disease commonly pushing their families and jobs away as their late night caffeine-fueled Reddit binges cause them to be inconsiderate, lustful, groggy and distracted the following day.
[adsense]For those not in the know, Reddit.com is the newest and most prominent Internet 2.0 site. It offers a cornucopia of communities, known as ‘subreddits’, that any person on Earth is able to create and grow as their own sub-domain of Reddit. The most powerful subreddits are prominently featured on the site’s homepage, where stories from that subreddit can be exposed to over 30 million people per day. Visitors of the site have the option to create a free account and gain the ability to customize their subreddit view, so they only see stories from communities that fit their likes and fetishes.
On the surface, such crowd-funded news would seem wonderful. And there are stories of the Reddit community reaching out and using its massive user base to do wonderful things for society. But just like every good story, there is a seedy, dark underside dwelling beneath the glitzy good surface. And it is the underside of Reddit.com, often hidden to wives and girlfriends, that is addicting men into unsavory behavior and leading them into a life of sheer debauchery.
Reddit allows its users to don a mask, not requiring any personal information when creating an account. This is a problem. This gives men the ability to browse and comment at anonymous leisure. There is no fail-safe check, no need to link one’s Facebook or LinkedIn account to join the site. Even if one thinks their identity could be compromised, Reddit.com administrators encourage users to create a “throwaway” account so they can tell all their crazy stories about how they are cheating on their wives and letting random strangers feel them up on subway cars to fulfill strange fetishes that have no place in a family.
With secrecy enabled on Reddit, your husband is able to hide his trail from you by logging into Internet Incognito mode and diving deep into anonymous sin.
Upon logging into Reddit, your husband is immediately granted Caeserian type powers. Much like a Roman emperor, your husband is given the power of the upvote, a scaled down version of the mighty thumb that could send a mighty Gladiator to his death or let him be cheered by the raging masses.
With this upvote, your husband becomes a god, anonymously granting karma to users that submit content that fits his 1 am desires. And as you may know, at 1 am most men are desiring only a few things: random brainless entertainment, high-end science, gossip and lustful exchanges.
These four categories are what drives the majority of Reddit’s traffic. The male brain at the witching hour is easily mesmerized by scientific wonder (r/ILIF). It is sent into childish giggle with weed-inspired humor (r/ents, r/atheism) and frantically searches out bits of insider gossip (r/AskReddit). All these subreddits lead to insomnia, which drives poor family interaction and poor job performance that plague so many men in America today. This shows Reddit Addiction Syndrome is a causal factor of America’s recession and high divorce rate.
But the chief cause of Reddit Addiction Syndrome (RAS) is the most dangerous subreddit of all: GoneWild.
Lurid college coeds and older lurk about, tempting all newcomers to Reddit to give them karma. In exchange for Karma, these Gonewild Females utilize a Reddit Imaging Service called IMGUR. The acronym stands for Inside My Genitalia Upon Request, telling exactly what happens. If your husband gives them a secret karma vote, the women on there will let them have a look at their goodies on IMGUR.
There is a secret email system on their the lights up devil red each time a transaction is made.
As you can imagine, such access to busty women constantly offering a peak of their nethers can keep your husband up late and touching himself. The only real cure for RAS is to shut off your internet, do random searches of your husband’s phone and allow calls only, no internet.