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Leonardo DiCaprio Defects To Russia, Promised To ‘Win Every Award in Soviet Oscars’



Russian President Vladimir Putin takes time from masterminding an invasion of the Ukraine to talk to Leonardo DiCaprio about his latest movies and future political connections with Russia.

Moscow, Russia – Earlier this week, superstar actor Leonardo DiCaprio failed to win any Oscars and in frustration, flew a jet to the Ukraine to join a growing lists of celebrities advocating for peace.

Vladimir Putin caught wind of DiCaprio’s antics and called him ‘a real man, unlike that weak capitalistic Obama’ and invited him to chat about politics and his role on the Wolf of Wall Street at Moscow’s Kremlin.

During the two-hour-long meeting, officials claim Putin discussed DiCaprio’s ‘bold and daring’ entry into the situation in the Ukraine.  Putin continually told Dicaprio that he reminded him of a much younger version of himself and then dropped a very big bombshell.

Vladimir Putin wants Leonardo DiCaprio to play him in an upcoming Russian movie/spoof-spinoff:  The Wolf of Russia.  DiCaprio laughed until he realized Vladimir Putin was not joking as he added, “I can guarantee you, the Russian Academy of Film and Actors will give you the Russian People’s Oscar in every category.  Trust me.”

Putin winked and DiCaprio allegedly signed to a deal, worth a rumored $30,000,000.00 (1085344235.0 rubles).  “I think we can make the series into a trilogy,” Putin excitedly reporter to Russian Times after inking the movie deal with DiCaprio.

The two agreed that as part of the deal, DiCaprio would refrain from instigating civilian uprisings in the Ukraine and keep his political views on the situation limited to Western media.