Neil Degrasse Tyson’s Cosmos Causes 27 Local School Children Demonic Possession

Haywood Bynum III
• TopekasNews

neil degrasse tyson cosmos demon possession


Student eerily turns to news photographer as the teacher’s desk levitates, Cosmos playing on the television even though the power to the classroom had been shut off.

Saddlebridge, Oklahoma – School officials have declared a state of emergency after showing an episode of Cosmos early Friday morning.

During opening credits to the show, teacher Sandra McAllister reports that several children immediately said they felt ‘groggy and dizzy’.

“One of my students become incontinent of urine, instantly, the moment the narrator [Neil DeGrasse Tyson] voice started up.  It was instant.  Then the children all started behaving abnormally, fidgeting and cussing.  One boy stood up and started growling in a very eerie manner.”

Shocked and worried perhaps her classroom had a gas leak, McAllister quickly signaled to the office that something was not right and immediately began to evacuate her 27-student classroom.

One student, however, sat glued in front of the television cart set that displayed the show’s taping.  While the teacher did not confirm his name, other parents report the child’s name is Damian Nikolai-Carpathia.

Firefighters immediately came to the scene as first responders, instructing the small school to shut off all power in case a natural gas leak caused the reported symptoms.

“When I entered the classroom to get the remaining student, I could not believe it.  The paper’s photographer was with me and he snapped it.  The student turned around and had a red glow to his eyes.  A desk was levitating in the air!  All the student said to us was ‘This is the Cosmos’.”

Fire Marshall Zander then went on, “The damned television kept playing, even though there was no power hooked to it,  The lights were out.  But on that television, that Neil DeGrasse Tyson kept talking on and brainwashing the poor student with all his crazy theories and incantations.”

A priest from a local parish was summoned and after splashing holy water into the classroom, the television set immediately shut off and the remaining student suddenly cried out and ran out of the classroom to his teacher and parents.  The desk and other items that were levitating fell to the ground.

Local school officials are now proposing a town-wide ban on the show Cosmos and parents seem to back the measure with near 100% fervor.  The town has proposed Cosmos is dangerous for several reasons, in addition to the terrifying episode that preceded.

Saddleback School District Grievances with Cosmos:  A Space Journey by Neil Degrasse Tyson

Due to recent supernatural phenomena that coincided with a school’s airing of Cosmos, Saddleback Township shall take action on the matter of airing Cosmos within the town proper.  The referendum shall be voted upon and imposed to promote public safety and Freedom of Proper Religion.

1.  Wizardry/Haroldry

In the image below, Cosmos titular narrator, Neil DeGrasse Tyson, smiles toward the camera upon a field of gules.  On his vest, we see ancient Egyptian Ra-worship icons and this is a clear sign that Tyson is likely a part of the Wiccan Sun occult and could also be an alchemist.  Such practices stand in contrast to the classic values of Saddleback Township and invades the Judeo-Christian historicity of morality inherit to its populace.

2.  Homogay Agenda

Here we see Bill Nye and Neil DeGrasse Tyson invading each other’s personal space.  In the first item of evidence, Bill Nye pins Tyson from behind, while Tyson lookd quite delighted to be handled in such a manner.  What does this have to do with ‘science’?  In image two, Tyson becomes gentle and submissive upon the left shoulder of Bill Nye, in front of students.  Is this a proper thing for educators to do to one another?

images Neil-head-on-Bill-shoulder1


3.  Cussing

Here we quotes users have taken from the show.  These are the type of words that brainwash children and cast the spells that allow a teacher’s desk to levitate and a student to become put in a trance.





4.  Makes The Church seem ‘not cool’ and ‘dark and scary’

The show constantly paints the best educators on Earth, pastors and priests, as the bad guys and always makes whatever hashish toking ‘scientist’ the martyr and victim in every episode.  Look at how they present the pope here.

images (1)


Due to these troubling grievances, it is the express opinion of the school board that any local broadcoast, taped or live, of Cosmos shall be prohibited, effective immediately.

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