New Dolphins Logo Features Mascot Getting Seared By Sun

Mike Collins
• TopekasNews
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For those seeking the new Miami Dolphins logo, there you go.  You can see a Dolphin is exploiding from presumably, the water.  Or maybe it is a new Boeing-like aircraft flying a group of humanoid spirits to a planet in a certain Milky Way, where they will inhabit the primative lifeforms on that planet and start a new civilization.

Or maybe it’s plain fugly.

As a person who had to sit through many Dan Marino comebacks, I am always happy to see poor fate fall upon the Dolphins.  They had it coming for ruining the lives and dreams of so many good, young NFL fans.  If they could not win a Super Bowl, why did they bother ruining the season of all us teams who had a fighting chance?

I digress.  Dolphins fans, I am sorry.  I am sorry you new logo looks like Superman became extremely frustrated with sea life one day, perhaps even aimed his frustrations at Flipper one day, and started to chuck dolphins into the Sun.  Maybe Lex Luthor exposed him to red kryptonite and there is a good explanation for this travesty.

Because outside of that, I am not sure who in their right mind would make this the logo for a professional team.  It’s like someone took the graphic designers for Reddit.com and then asked their protege children to draw a happy sun and space-faring dolphin with their best crayonmanship.  Someone must have one the gold deputy star sticker for this piece, because a billion dollar franchise is going to use it for their next year of marketing.

I’m no NFL genius, but I do rank among the better of the Armchair Captains of America, as evidenced by my fantasy football prowess.  And let me tell you this:  the logo stinks, but not as bad as your broken team.

Miami Dolphins, do yourselves proud and focus on building up a team that dominates all season, but doesn’t make it to the Super Bowl.  Until you get back to that point of existance, it is like you don’t really exist to me and anyone else any more.

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