Palestine has crossed the line by drawing a large display of twiddle rompus’ on the holy Western Wailing Wall overnight, declaring war against all nations of the Judeo-Christian faith.
Israel reports that overnight, several Palestinian vandals drew a series of giant twiddle rompus on the holy Wailing Wall. A group of three Hamas college interns, all aged in their twenties, were apprehended and are taking credit for the savage vandalism.
Israeli officials report that early this morning, visiting men and women were thrown into a fit of crying and horror upon discovering the terribly drawn male appendages plastered onto the wall. “It was an apocalyptic scene, children were left crying and confused, while mothers and fathers rushed to cover the eyes of their loved ones and dramatically cry unto the heavens, “Who could have done such a horrible, horrible thing?”,” reports Ben Weinman, who was visiting the historic land on summer break from Harvard.
Luckily, Israeli police found three suspicious looking men peaking from around a corner, laughing wildly and taking selfies as a scene of chaos erupted from behind them. The three Hamas insurgents have been identified as Fahdi al-Haskalusi, Omar al-Baghdadi and Amir Bahar, all study-abroad college students who decided to do a summer internship working for Hamas (though Bahar has suspicious Fatah connections).
The damage done by the cruel attack of paint upon the wall is beyond measure, but I firmly believe the US should provide at least $80 million dollars to Israel to help pay counseling for all the good people who were scarred by the shocking graffiti display and will now have to go through the healing process.
As for Palestine, this act crossed the line. Drawing these savage looking Satan stiffies on one of the civilized world’s most holy sites is an act of war. Israel must do nothing short but finish flushing Palestinians out of the Gaza strip, or they will only grow more emboldened and do things 20 times worse than this in the near future. I personally believe the UN should warn Palestine to flee their 3 best neighborhoods, and Israel should be allowed to do bomb-dropping air raids upon it for equal retaliation.
After immediate justice is served, it is the responsibility of America to oversee a plan to gently resolve this ongoing crisis. Here is something I developed with my think-tank, Christians for a Peaceful Middle East and Profitable Oil Futures.
Simple 6-Year Plan to Stop the Violence/Bring Peace to Israel, Palestine and Surrounding Region
In this plan, we can see the historicity of the situation and understand the horrible situation Israel has been placed in. In 1949, we can see Palestine’s “territory” is very intrusive and sitting on prime real-estate. Israel’s natural growth from good consumerism and alliance with Western powers left it needing more land, so we can see by 2005 natural social evolution has required more land for Israel.
In my diagram, this year America takes a hard stance on Palestine for all the recent violence and degrading the holy Wailing Wall, so we finally send our troops into the Gaza region and tell those Palestinians there they have a week to pack and hike to land we will give them in Northern Egypt. This is the new promised land for Palestine and they will be thankful.
Those who survive the journey to New Palestine will be exhausted and busy negotiating land rights with the Muslim brotherhood. Those Palestinians stills speckled throughout Israel will quickly assimilate, with the Hamas/Fatah unity government dismantled.
Meanwhile, before New Palestine has a chance to organize, it is prudent to attack. In 2016, America will finally have a Christian and a Republican in the presidency again, so declaring war on New Palestine will be no problem at all. Egyptians will likely get fussy about all the collateral damage for the attack, so that will require military expansion into Northern Egypt.
If Egyptians resist the new Israeli land we have given to our allies in Nothern Egypt, they will need to remember how we wiped Palestine off the map from 1949 – 2016. The same fate shall fall to Egypt and they have no one to blame but their greed and Pharaoh for starting it.