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Russia Bans US From International Space Station, Astronauts “Will Have To Find Their Own Way Down”


[adsense]Moscow, Russia – Russian officials have further increased tensions with the United States.  Earlier today, the Kremlin announced that effective immediately, the United States is banned from the International Space Station and the ban will be enforced by Russia refusing to allow U.S. astronauts to ride on shuttles powered by Russian Suyez rockets.

Russia’s “US Space Sanctions” come as the nation continues to establish dominance over Ukraine, a political and military move of which the US has explicitly stated it does not approve and plans to punish Russia for doing such a thing.

Footage showing a Russian cosmonaut kicking a US astronaut from an airlock, plummeting to Earth, is still being investigated by US researchers.

A fiery Vladimir Putin eagerly confirmed that “US astronauts on the Space Station will have to find their own way down.  There will be no Russian space shuttle tainted with arrogant Americans.  This is the way their President Obama wants things, so the astronauts can thank their leader for putting them in this unfortunate position.”

As of now, the only rockets able to dock with the International Space Station are Russian rockets, which the US spends nearly $70 million a trip to send Russia to space.  Russia would rather lose out on that revenue than deal with US politics, which many Russians fear could signal the US trying a subversive revolution that would oust Vladimir Putin in the nation.

US officials have not yet responded to Russia’s newest stance, but sources close to Washington confirm the US retains heavy interest in the International Space Station, may plan to expedite resources such as SpaceX shuttles and refuse to entertain the notion of leaving US astronauts stranded.

Sources close to NASA also state the US may enforce a contract which would force Russia to permanently leave the Space Station by 2020.