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Russian Scientists Invent Turduck


The latest product of Cold War II is the genetic abomination you see above. The Russians are calling it the deadly turduck, смертельной черепаха утка in their scribble language.

The turduck is to serve as a reminder to all Americans, that Russia does have the capability to make the most fragile of beings turn into ferocious monstrosities of the devil’s science, using genetics.

Whereas America is guided by morality and would never do such a thing, Russia will not hesitate to make a poor duckling grow a rock solid tortoise shell from its back.  And as such, we should not be shocked if we see the Russians splicing human DNA with the most deadly of animals:  cougars, eagle’s talon for nails, the jaw of a snake, the teeth of a shark.  These are all things Russians will use in animals and humans, then unleash their beast armies upon America and laugh as our soliders are overwhelmed by the carnage.

Be warned, America.  Russia is back.  It is only a matter of time before Vladimir Putin changes Russia’s name back to Soviet USSR.  Do not forget, USSR stands for United States Slowly Razed.  The communists named their country after their plan on how to destroy us, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Soviets are back, and they are throwing down these turducks at their new gauntlets.  Are we ready to meet the challenge?