Should Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan Come Out Gay for National Coming Out Day?

Sterling Manchester II
• TopekasNews

San Francisco, CA – Today homosexuals in America celebrate in great jubilance, inviting their brothers and sisters in hiding to ‘come out’ and proudly announce that they are gay and proud. While it’s wonderful that America has finally reached the point that such things can be done without massive riots, unleashed German shephards and protests from the ignorant, it’s still a subdued point of disappointment that there is not an equality of preference for who one chooses as a companion in life.

America at large is still naive and ignorant when it comes to understanding lesbians and gays have natural rights and I theorize the problem is quite simple: we need to get rid of politicians who roar to be ‘pro-gay’ before elections, then turn into timid bunnies when it’s time to support gay rights in from their office. In the world of politics, the issue of homosexuality is used as a tool of seduction. Democrats will say they are pro-gay to get your vote, simply put. Republicans have shied away from the issue, even though we all know half of them enjoy a secret, exotic poke in the backside from a poolside cabana boy.


With sculpted muscles glinting in the light of late fall day, it’s hard to imagine many men would be able to resist reaching out for a quick touch of Paul Ryan. This carefree physique of Ryan can be used to recruit gay voters and make America more gay friendly. Republicans can see homosexual moments can be fun, assertive and natural.

It’s time for everyone to admit they are a little gay, no matter what side of politics they claim as their own. Throughout the Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan campaign, I’ve seen them embrace some gay undertones. While Romney likely dabbled a bit with a turgid flesh bit in his younger days, Paul Ryan has classic Republican power-bottom features: chistled body, strong chin, wonderful hair and a beautiful family to hide his homosexual ways behind. I’d be remiss to think that these two do not support gay marriage, secretly, and to have a gay-friendly gay couple in office would do as much good for the movement than having a wishy-washy Democrat. The more Republicans who become comfortable ‘coming out’ and acting gay, the better for the country as a whole.


The rock-hard body and spirit of Paul Ryan was hard-earned from long, grueling hours in the gym and making exercise videos such as this. What better way to get America’s men slim and fit again, and more gay friendly, than a workout video lead by America’s vice president?

For months rumors have circulated about that Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan have had their run-ins with gay lifestyle. Paul Ryan, before he knew he would be running for vice-president, openly admitted that he has many gay friends and when they ‘rolled out of bed’, he knew neither of them were born that way. Paul Ryan essentially revealed that he made love to a gay man and that the gay man was, yes, gay. He was born that way, according to Paul Ryan. Ryan, on the other hand, didn’t feel the strong connection and wanted a family. At best, Paul Ryan is bi.

In watching interactions between Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan, we can see Ryan is submissive. Romney is an aggressive man who likely feels some sort of attraction to Ryan’s passive-aggressive streak, sealing the perfect working relationship between these two. What may look like a simple embrace on the outside world, as in the picture above, is actually a subtle indicator of sexual tension between these two presidential candidates. To the GOP, even the most hardline yokel in Topeka, Kansas, living in a church compound off Gage Boulevard, this type of subtle homosexuality will secretly make their mind more gay friendly, doing far more damage to laws like DOMA than even the most hardline, anti-gay conservatives could even imagine.

As the 2012 elections draw closer, I’m not entirely thrilled about either candidate. But for my gay friends and colleagues, I posit that you should encourage Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan to become more gay friendly. If they truly work to embrace the gay vote and make Republicans more accepting off gay lifestyle in the process, we’ll see more and more states fold to allow gay marriage. Seeing and accepting gay lifestyle will become as common a household item as a Friends rerun when flipping through the channels.

I leave you with this thought. Would America be a better place for gays and therefore, all disenfranchised minorities, if the Republicans became comfortable and expected their candidates to reach out to voters in the following manner?

I think we can all agree, yes. Yes, we can.

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