Tanning Fail, When Bronzing Goes Too Far

Tatum Fox
• TopekasNews
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At first glance it would seem Dr. Evil has found a way to place his head upon Terry Crews, the Old Spice guy.  Unfortunately, what you see above is no act of weird science or an internet photoshop meme.  It is the actual body of a bodybuilder who took part in Arnold Scharzenegger’s flexing competition and in it, we see an episode of Jersey Shore gone awry.

Fake and bake bronzing seems to be the new cosmetic fad for the last ten years.  Instead of spending hours in the sun or salon, why not chisle and shape up with a bottle of potentially carcinogenic chemicals that accentuate every tensed part of your body with contrasting shadows?

When a bronzing technique goes very wrong. (AP)According to sources at the show, which took place in Europe, over 30 competitors had super-bronzed skin.  And just like a Roman Colussus showing flexing his stuff, on average they scored higher.

As a society, we have to ask if such things should be allowed?  It’s bad enough that so many processed foods and medicines exist in our world.  For every unnatural thing you eat, you likely increase your chance of getting cancer or taking decades off your life by 50%.  There is nothing safe about non-organic products, so just imagine the danger of sopping your skin full of these nasty chemicals, to only win a random competition that everyone will forget about in a few years.

Look at all the mistakes Arnold Schwarzenneger made in life.  He cheated on a beautiful, intelligent woman, numerous times, to only get what looks like a desert troll and skamp pregnant.  He decided to become a Republican.  In his older age, his muscle has all turned to flap and he looks like he might suffer from some Grave’s disease.  This is all because when he was younger, he more than likely bronzed as well.

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