McKayla Maroney is a phenomenal gymnast and did the US proud in the 2012 Olympic games, but like most girls her age she has the ability to shoot cold ice daggers from her very eyes. This is something every young man with a girlfriend, husband with a wife and curfew wielding father (or mother) with a daughter has surely experienced at some time in his or her life.
Before we get too in-depth in analyzing Maroney’s mean girl stare, a backstory is in order. As mentioned, Maroney is an awesome gymnast and will likely be back to compete in 2016′s Brasilia games. Maroney is so awesome, she managed to drop the jaw of a normally critque happy judge after a perfect vault.
And after seeing that, the commentors were finally silent with their, “Ohhh, yeah, that little toe didn’t quite hit the mat right. hate to see that type of mental mistake, 20 point error” commentary. And the judge, she just dropped her jaw like it was hot.
That ‘O’ face is not of the Office Space variety, but the “OMG, how can anyone be this good”.
But as what happens in every Greek tale, there has to be triumph and eventual dramatic tragedy, of First World Problems variety. And when McKayla had her fall from golden grace, that’s exactly what happened.
[quote]“‘That’s cold as ice’, said Rick James’ angel when he saw this stare. When you train for gold, you don’t really like watching someone else doing the Queen Elizabeth waving kiss blows as they are crowned champion. McKayla Maroney is letting that be known with her ice cold stare here.[/quote]
On the second day of vaulting, everything was going to plan once again. Maroney was dominating and doing crazy Pink Luigi in Smash Brothers type aerial flips. Such grace and precision:
The judges were still making the faces you’d expect of shocked British royalty and all was well, until this crucial moment. Oh, oh, Bob, it looks like the toes were not aligned:
It happens. A mediocre band would whine voice sing, “So you had a bad day,” and this happens. Unfortunately, Maroney’s bad day cost her the gold and made her the second best vaulter on Earth in 2012. Most would be proud, but Olympians do not settle for proud. They tolerate perfection.