The House of Un has married into Russian Vladimir Putin, creating a new power couple whose aim is ‘focused on destroying Yankee capitalism and bringing bright future North Korea’.
[adsense]Moscow, Russia – Now shunned by the world’s economically powerful G-7 countries, Vladimir Putin’s Russian Federation is in a weakened position. Analysts speculate Russia’s need for support and political bite during this time lead to a shocking announcement from the Kremlin: Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un have ‘married’ into an openly gay political alliance.
The shocking image accompanying the announcement displays a pensive Kim Jong Un locking lips with a firm, aggressive Vladimir Putin. News of Putin’s relationship with Kim Jong Un come only one day after Putin announced his divorce from his long time wife.
North Korea’s Pyongyang based state-television quotes Un: “It is during a phone conversation with [Putin] that I noticed he was stealing my heart. His dislike of those rotten Americans and their big smiles, greedy pockets and fat bellies made me attracted. I knew I had to meet him right away and it went from there.”
Putin has remained more mum on the subject, though sources close to Russian officials detail Putin and Kim Jong Un were very ‘handsy’ as they attended a basketball game put on by the North Korean Men’s Sport’s Association, a very close approximation to America’s YMCA.
Russian officials released an official statement regarding the situation.
The openly gay relationship of Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un is political in nature, not romantic. Thus the relationship does not violate the Russian Federation’s gay marriage laws. The marriage of Putin and Un strengthen the front against American economic imperialism and as such is recognized by the Russian government and its citizens.
Gay body language expert Cody Miles speculates from the image, that Un is serving as ‘the sassy, reluctant power bottom’ in this odd new political alliance.