God Drenches Colorado With Floodwater, Weed Smokers To Blame
Sadly I must say I told you so. Marijuana is the most dangerous and annoying drug of all time, and yet, the people of Colorado voted to legalize that salacious herb of Satan. The horrid stench of marijuana is worse than a thousand rotting skunk carcasses and that rotten scent of ‘skunk weed’ made it up to heaven. God’s response was swift!
Reports of flood water ravaging Colorado, out of nowhere, is proof that God is tired of marijuana being grown all over the state. You can see from DrudgeReport.com, the picture of an innocent home being surrounded by all sorts of weed. God is simply flushing all this skunk weed out of Colorado, and eventually into the Mississippi River, where it will flow down to where it belongs in Mexico.
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Author: Haywood Bynum III Leading the charge of faith at Bible Fellowship Church.
[…] Colorado got drenched with floodwater because they legalized weed. The smell of it likely wafted up to heaven and upset the angels, who wept and complained until […]
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too bad if there is actually a god, it was the one who created WEED. It was put here for a reason just like everyone. So stop spending you time complaining and maybe try to make this world a better place
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Hahahahaha! Some friends of mine were air lifted out of Boulder the other day, but don’t worry, we saved the weed!
Hot debate. What do you think?
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And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. (Marijuana can most certainly be eaten and does indeed bear seeds.)
Also, “skunk weed” is a specific strain of marijuana, known for its pungent scent; a little research wouldn’t hurt. And sending it to Mexico where “it belongs”? You’re sounding a tad racist there buddy.
All hail White Aryan Jesus I suppose…
Or the flooding could just be the resultant of Colorado’s seasonal monsoons under the effect of global climate change.
Well-loved. Like or Dislike:
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There is no such proof of God. The bible is a fictional storybook created to implement governable control over the mostly ignorant population on this planet. Furthermore, YOU need to do your own research before posting such atrocious lies. Stop supporting the influence of mass ignorance.
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Heywood Jablowme
Hot debate. What do you think?
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DiJeweat Viagrabro?
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Seriously? Did you think of this all on your own?
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Stupidity is contagious. This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever read. The fact that all of us spent time here is unreal.
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So with your logic, you living in the righteous state of Kansas have never had a natural disaster? Tornadoes much? Why has God chosen to punish the small God fearing cities in rural Kansas?
Hot debate. What do you think?
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You should all check out his other articles. This *must* be a joke.
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Yeah, no kidding, as another commenter said, do you work for THE ONION?
You could at least look at a map before you write something so idiotic. The Mississippi River does not flow into Mexico; it ends right here in Louisiana, about a half-mile from where I’m sitting to type this, and we have plenty of marijuana here, and it isn’t river-soaked either.
So, it never flooded in Colorado before, right?
And what EVIDENCE do you have of this being the work of God because of the recent vote ending the prohibition of marijuana???
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This is ridiculous. Our state is going through a national disaster and you wanna say its from the people of Colorado smoking pot? We had the same exact thing happen in 76. Was that from people smoking marijuana too? You have a completely invalid point and I don’t even know how you could come up with something like that. Colorado is one of the most beautiful states in the US and we will recover from this and continue to be. Disasters happen like this all over the would and it happens in Colorado and you wanna blame it on the citizens of the state smoking a herb that was but on this planet by our creator. Marijuana was being used for medical purpose even before it was legal.
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God does not exist.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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“Most dangerous drug of all time”!?! Maybe TRY to do some research before you publish stuff that is 100% untrue. If anything, “god”would be proud of boulder for producing the finest of the plant “he” created.
Hot debate. What do you think?
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…this is a joke, right..? …as if.
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So if we are punished by floods, what did y’all do to deserve tornados???
Hot debate. What do you think?
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“So if we are punished by floods, what did y’all do to deserve tornados???”
We let the Westboro crazies live here.
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Wow bible thumpers can be some stupid damn people at times… Ps. “God” I don’t think would care about weed seeing as its legalization has already dropped crime rates and CBD content in herb helps cancer patients and other illness!! And btw there’s a thing called evolution you should read about it. Just saying
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It looks as though Christianity has turned into America’s biggest hate group. And they wonder why church attendance is dropping off. This guy probably thinks the world was created in six twenty-four hour days, or that Christianity is based on the teachings of Jesus. It’s not. Saul who changed his name to Paul when he decided to turn traitor to the Jews and side with Rome, hijacked Christianity for his own monetary gain. Jesus was a Nazarene who believed salvation was achieved from within not from an outside source. He didn’t believe in going to church either. Christians today don’t follow the teachings of Jesus. They follow the teachings of a capitalistic opportunist. The bible is loaded with some of the most mind blowing, cool messages that 99 percent of so- called Christians will never uncover. Why? Because they go to church. It’s people like Haywood who are making America dumber and will eventually be our downfall.
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Your not the sharpest tool in the shed are you? Or maybe your doing this stuff just to get your name somewhere like on Fox News, then I would say you have a great future among people like Michelle Bachmann, you two can go pray the gay away and watch for all the natural disasters to be caused by God as a revenge.
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Wtf church ppl stating that something god made is bad lol. They have lost their mind. If he was going to state a protects. He would do it against, child rape and murders. False prophets. And I can keep going not something he made for is to use.
It’s a sin to judge or is that not profitable for your own cause. All those who state they are doing gods work, but they are looking down on others. These others that are different for your self, as well as in believes. That’s all sin. So while your damning others you have damned your self. You have chose to take on gods job, when he Him self forbids it. Goo luck with this. Hope you realize your wrong.
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Yooo they just don’t get any more stupid then you Haywood people like yourself are blind to reality and follow like the good little Sheeple
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I love Jesus, but you sir are an embarrassment to Christians everywhere. God created all plants, so God must have created Marijuana. It was legal in the entire world until the beginning of the 20th century. Out of the 613 laws of the old testament the bible does not once mention “prohibition from Marijuana” even though misuse of alcohol and drunkenness is specifically mentioned several times. Also, records show that Hashish has been used in Asia before Moses even wrote Genesis, so don’t act like God forgot to mention it. He obviously didn’t find it worth mentioning. Lastly, If you are going to spout hate speech please do not say that God is the reason a natural disaster has occurred. God is Love not hate. And before you pass judgment on other people remember Matt 7:1
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don’t forget the houses are innocent
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Wow this guy is just as much an Idiot as rep. Akin
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“Marijuana is the most dangerous and annoying drug of all time” REALLY! You’re such a ignorant uneducated apphole!
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You must have smoked a little yourself, since you have no idea where the Mississippi river flows!!
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This story proves how evil religion really is… If you don’t love the CONSTITUTION of the United States Of America, then leave…. We are free in Colorado now. Religion was only a means for the few (The Rich)to control the masses. Religion is the most destructive force on Planet Earth.
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OH You’re God!! Are you serious? This guy seriously needs to smoke a little and relax! Oh but wait! he’s an ugly little uptight republican who takes the bible way to literally!
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This website should rename their motto from “A progressive voice for the free thinker” to “Propaganda” no free thought here whatsoever. Just a brainwashed author working for a corrupt church
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I don’t pray but I will for this man, seems to me he forgot that god gave us seeds to sow. I hate ignorant people. Because we all know that us pot heads in co have so much power when we get together that we are more powerful then H.A.A.R.P. You want someone to blame for the flood try that or Mother Nature. She tends to get mad when people diss her plants. This man has some major balls to live in a legal state and talk down about it. If I were this dude id make sure all my doors are locked at night. Maybe God flooded co because so many cities are not allowing the shops. Why does it always have to be our fault. Yeah you just went on my P.O.S. list buddie. Hope you find a better god soon, yours seems broken.
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This is satire you guys! Read the rest of the articles on this site. Funny stuff. Puff puff puff.
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Hate to tell you this but Marijuana is a simple plant that GOD mad to grow on our green Earth – so if you want to blame someone for all the weed blame your GOD!!
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Jesus Allegedly Uses Anointing Oil Made with Cannabis
“In the Bible’s New Testament, Jesus… anointed [his disciples] with [a] potent entheogenic [psychoactive substance] oil, sending out the 12 apostles to do the same [around the year 30 AD]…
Likewise, after Jesus’ passing, James suggests that anyone of the Christian community who was sick should call to the elders to anoint him with oil in the name of Jesus…”
Chris Bennett “Was Jesus a Stoner?,” High Times Magazine, Feb. 10, 2003
“So, did Jesus use cannabis? I think so. The word Christ does mean ‘the anointed one’ and Bennett contends that Christ was anointed with chrism, a cannabis-based oil, that caused his spiritual visions. The ancient recipe for this oil, recorded in Exodus, included over 9lb of flowering cannabis tops (known as kaneh-bosem in Hebrew), extracted into a hin (about 11? pints) of olive oil, with a variety of other herbs and spices. The mixture was used in anointing and fumigations that, significantly, allowed the priests and prophets to see and speak with Yahweh.
Residues of cannabis, moreover, have been detected in vessels from Judea and Egypt in a context indicating its medicinal, as well as visionary, use. Jesus is described by the apostle Mark as casting out demons and healing by the use of this holy chrism. Earlier, from the time of Moses until the later prophet Samuel, holy anointing oil was used by the shamanic Levite priesthood to receive the ‘revelations of the Lord’. The chosen ones were drenched in this potent cannabis oil.”
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Well, at least we are out of our 10 year drought. So much for a progressive and free thinking news paper. If God was so mad about marijuana, why didn’t he smite us back when George Washington and Benjamin Franklin grew it. Maybe God didn’t know it was so evil when we still called it hemp and made stuff like rope, sails, clothing, fuel oil, and other useful things from it.
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God made weed, your argument is invalid
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Your next piece should be about how the earth is flat so you can maintain continuity in expressing your opinion and intelligence.
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God hates lying lips and yours are dripping with untruth. “Haven’t you read?”
Hey Einstein, how about a link to the Bible verse that says Satan can create anything but emnity?
There are plenty of verses about fools that come to mind reading your drivel.
You should wipe those lips with a little piece of toilet paper when you talk like that…
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It’s people like this guy who give Christianity a bad name. It’s also very disappointing that this is published in a periodical that calls itself the progressive voice for the free thinker. Open-mindedness in the midwest is worse than I thought. This man doesn’t know the Lord.
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This is by far the most ridiculous claim I’ve heard. “Washing it down to Mexico, where it belongs?” I would expect that kind of talk from a preacher with the first name “Haywood”- the only thing that keeps you people alive out there in the sticks is meth & the bible. I’ve been to your state- and I’m not impressed.. I hope your children overdose.
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YOU ARE CLEARLY AN ATTENTION CRAVING IDIOT.
really ?…I mean really ? WOW.
::shakes head, walks away::
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You sir are an idiot! How dare you talk about my state like that! You are one of those people who refuse to look at the truth, the plant was made by God for the medicine it produces, not to mention all of the industrial and environmental uses from hemp. Hemp could save us all from our troubles with foreign oil etc. people like you make me sick! Please educate yourself before condemning anyone who has done the work and found that it should have never been made illegal to begin with. The medicinal properties are amazing and I think my home state is obviously one of the only states that have brains big enough to realize that. I feel sorry for you, and if you ever get really sick like I have where you have to take handfuls of pills everyday, pills that make you feel like you would rather die, I hope they make medical marijuana unavailable to you so you can suffer! Sad sad man.
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ROFLMAO!!! Yeah right! God put all plants on earth for use by man.
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If the authors rationale is indeed the case then the entire world should be flooded again as was in the flood of Noah and the ark. The author is seen as just as sin filled as anyone else and needs the Lord equally. It is “christians” like this that steer people away from seeking the Lord and should carefully consider the damage they are doing to thhe rainbow was a sign of the covenant between God and man to never wipe out mankind like that anymore. I am amazed at all the folks who demonize the use of cannabis especially for those who use it responsibly in moderation as I have before with no ill effects to speak of but the same folks demonizing it think its hunky D to drink alcohol. Alcohol is a horrible intoxicant even small amounts before you even feel it affect your behavior and it kills thousands daily via car accidents, deadly withdrawals, physical abuse done by those intoxicated on it and much more.
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